"Non-negotiables"

The past few weeks I have talked a lot about setting goals, and I frequently reference metaphors in relation to farming, gardening and seasons. The reason being, I personally believe they are perfect metaphors for the “non-negotiables” in life. Regardless of your personal belief in God, science, or evolution, there are things that cannot be contested, things that will always be; “non-negotiables”. There is a morning after every night, there is a calm after every storm, and there is a spring after every winter. Winter comes with regularity, whether or not we we like it and whether or not we are prepared for it. Some winters are mild and short, and others long and violent. Regardless of what happens during winter, we know it will come. If we aren’t prepared, it’s because we chose not to be. I believe these “non-negotiables” teach us valuable lessons when we examine the similarities between them and our lives. We learn that our minds are very similar to fertile soil, the different areas of our life (gardens) need tending, and we experience seasons in many aspects of life.

Think of an area of ground covered in fertile soil. The ground does not care what seeds are planted, it will grow what it’s given. Earl Nightingale masterfully explains this to us in his lecture “The Strangest Secret”. A farmer can plant either corn or the deadly plant, Nightshade, and the soil won’t discriminate between the seeds. The soil will bountifully produce either one if planted and tended. There is a striking comparison between this fertile soil and our minds. Our brain will also produce a bountiful harvest of whatever we plant in it. If we have a strong vision and plant the appropriate seeds, we will reap a harvest akin to that vision. If we lose focus of what’s important then we begin to react instead of acting intentionally. Our life becomes unintentional and we reap an undesired harvest. What are you planting in your mind? Are you happy with the harvest you are reaping? Our minds, like fertile soil, will yield whatever we plant in it, but we must know what we desire to harvest before we can know what to plant.

So let's imagine you have decided to plant some seeds. You come to me and request apple seeds. I happily oblige, give you seeds, and you go home and plant your seeds. After meticulously tending your apple seeds for a few years you bear your first fruit. You return to me outraged. You throw a green apple at me and declare that you wanted RED apples! Doh! This simple analogy illustrates the importance of being specific in your desires for the future. You have to start with your end goal in mind.

The past few weeks I have talked a lot about envisioning the man you want to be. This is a crucial step in deciding what seeds you need to plant. You must identify what being a better man means to you. Stating “I want to be a better man” is like standing before a fertile field and saying “I want crops”. Nothing will happen. You have to be specific with what you want before you can plant the proper seeds and put in the appropriate work.

Is it that easy? No, it’s that simple. There is nothing easy about it. But if it’s “so simple” why do so few men achieve what they want? Why do so few men set goals? Mr. Nightingale goes on in his lecture to explain to us that the most important things in our lives, our most priceless possessions, are free: Our mind, body and soul. Our hopes, dreams and ambitions. Our wisdom and intelligence. Our love for our significant other, children and friends. But how often do we prioritize any of these? What typically gets our attention? We fixate on our cell phones, tablets, TVs, clothes, vehicles, promotions, gadgets and “stuff”? This trivial stuff that we pay money for steals our attention from what is actually important and causes us to misplace our values.

The stuff that costs us money can all be replaced. A good man can be knocked clean off his feet, rebuild his fortune, start a new career, and buy new stuff. Material things are replaceable, but no amount of money ever bought one second of time. If you waste your time or lose the irreplaceable things in your life due to neglect, you will never get them back. So do we do what’s easy, or do we do the simple, albeit hard, things in order to have a more intentional and fulfilling life?

The sad truth is that most of you reading this will stop at just that, reading it. You won’t find a few minutes to sit down undisturbed and focus on what matters to you most in this life. You won’t write it down and visualize it. You won’t take that written vision and extrapolate the seeds that need to be planted for you to “reap that harvest”. Don’t be that guy! Be the exception. Review our talk on “Setting Your Rocks” and focus on the the different areas of your life. Do you want to be a good husband? Do you want to be a good father? Do you want to be healthy and fit?

Now ask yourself, why do you want any of these things? Like… deep down inside… why do you want them? Not because “you should” or because it’s “what you’re supposed to do” or because “so and so does it,” why do YOU want it? If you don’t truly want it then you won’t put the time and effort needed into tending that area of your life. Decide who you want to be, decide what you want in life, and then write down the things you need to do (the seeds you need to plant) to get there.

To put this in perspective, one of my personal goals is to be able to actively engage my great grandkids. I’m talking- camping, hunting, fishing and traveling with them. Not sitting in a recliner and snoring while they feel obligated to visit me on the holidays. I have a vision of sitting in a hunting blind and watching every generation up to my great grandchild take their first goose in an upstate NY corn field. I’m going to watch them feel the heavy pull of a redfish on a Panama City back-bayou saltwater flat. What seeds do I need to plant for me to reap this harvest?

1. Goal: My body needs to last that long. Seeds: Eat for function and longevity.

2. Goal: A relationship with my kids that fosters a desire for them to be around me. Seeds: One-on-one time, family nights, being a positive role model, being PRESENT.

3. Goal: Financial freedom for myself and my family. Seeds: Sound investments leading to passive income, and then sharing this wisdom with my children.

If you haven’t already done so, I challenge you to start brainstorming your future. I hope these metaphors help you gain perspective and motivation to start setting your goals/rocks and shaping your future!