Alignment

How often do you feel friction in your life? It’s typically written it off as bad luck, an annoying person, something you “have to do,” or that it’s just “normal” and “everyone experiences it”. If I was a betting man, I would be willing to bet this friction comes from living out of alignment with your core values. But what does that even mean?

I recently watched the movie Parker with Jason Statham. It’s not exactly a cinema classic, in fact, it’s more of a mindless action flick but hey, I’m into the sorta thing! I really enjoy discovering epic quotes or deep plot lines hidden behind seemingly shallow movies. Ironically the entire movie plot behind Parker is based on a man with succinct values. Semi-*spoiler alert*: he gets double crossed (no way!) and goes on an action-packed rampage in pursuit of his betrayers (unbelievable- this is getting deep!) Stay with me! Throughout the movie he can be quoted saying things like:

“Civilized people need to follow rules and these are mine: I don’t steal from people who can’t afford it and I don’t hurt people who don’t deserve it…”

“Most importantly if you say you’ll do something and you don’t, I’ll make sure you regret it…”

“When I say I’ll follow through, I always follow through. Always.”

Then, at one point Parker (Statham) bluntly confides to Hurley about his principles, he states that “without them, life would be led by chaos and nobody likes chaos."

Ok, I’m getting carried away, but I’m sure you get the point. Unfortunately in today’s generation there are fewer and fewer people that live with intention and purpose. Most of us drift aimlessly through life constantly reacting to our environment and making excuses or justifications for our “bad luck” after the fact. Not many people are willing to take the time and identify what is important to them in this life. Most will not sit down and imagine their future and then trace the steps backwards to identify what needs to happen in order to achieve that future. They fail to ask themselves what type of person they need to be or become in order to bring that future to fruition. They fail to identify and live by their own set of core values.

Do you know your own core values? Do you know what is most important to you in life? I bet while reading this you’ll say “yes” in your head but if I was asking you in person you couldn’t recite them to me. I bet you couldn’t confidently articulate your values and testify how you live in alignment with them…

Without values in place all of our lives start to be led by chaos… and like our poetic super-stud, Parker reminds us, none of us like that. The fact of the matter is, the values don’t matter. You don’t have to live up to A set of values, you have to live up to YOUR set of values.

The friction I inquired about at the beginning of this is often the misalignment of our values and the way we are living. If you can’t recite your values, start to focus on the moments in your day that you become uncomfortable, unhappy, or frustrated.

Are you uncomfortable when your “friends” are sending you dick and fart jokes or porn? Are you frustrated when you “don’t have time” to complete a task but strangely you had time to watch Parker and back to back episodes of “fill in your favorite show here”. Are you unhappy with your body but continue to abuse it with your food and drink choices? These are all questions I ask from personal experience. I didn’t respect myself and therefore I didn’t respect anyone else around me. I was the guy sending the dick and fart jokes and the porn texts and memes. Other people that found them funny would surround me and make me feel like it was funny… normal… cool. I was routinely frustrated, I “didn’t have enough time” to do anything important, but I always found time to hide from my responsibility by watching movies, shopping, eating out, or doing whatever random thing seemed more fun. Much of this lead to unhealthy eating, which in turned created unhappiness with myself and my appearance, which created the toxic downward spiral of stress eating even more. “I eat because I’m unhappy and I’m unhappy because I eat.” (Another great movie quote).

What is worse is that I thought I had values. I could recite them to you. Faith. Family first. Honesty. Courage. Love. But where are any of those values present in the previous paragraph? How much of a hypocrite am I?! Ouch.

But then I dug deep. I found my Faith. I started to love myself. I was honest about what that meant and had the courage to walk it out. And as my life started to improve, my family became my focus, and as I shared last week, I found my true treasure and legacy in them.

When I started to live in alignment with my values friction started to ease. The dick and fart jokes fell by the wayside and so did the people that found them amusing. I routinely feel like bigger opportunities are presented and my life feels more fulfilled. Now, I won’t sit here and lie to you by saying I never crack an inappropriate joke or laugh if I hear one, but I will tell you that it rarely ever happens anymore. It doesn’t align with the type of man I want to be for my wife or children, therefore, it doesn’t serve me and since it isn’t focused on, it isn’t at the front of my mind. The circle of people I frequent most have naturally evolved to people with similar values. This empowers me to live the example for others in my life who may not have found their values or are struggling. My life is not even close to frictionless, but I can tell you with complete sincerity that since finding my values the chaos has started to become order. Luke 16:10 tells us "Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much.” I firmly believe this to be true.

So I guess that means I’ve discovered my values via the bible and cheesy action flicks… 🤔. The point is, it doesn’t matter where you find your values or what make them ring loudest to you. Just find them. Embrace them. Live them.

So I ask you again… what are your values?